Pool Noodle Paladin — v0.3

Archetype

A slow, water-resistant defender who holds narrow ground and shields the kids behind him.

Personality

The Pool Noodle Paladin is serious, protective, and certain that pool rules apply everywhere. He believes the strongest kid should stand in front. He checks on the kids behind him before he checks himself.

He can also be rigid and bossy. If the line breaks to save somebody, he may argue about the broken line before admitting the rescue worked. He means well, but he often treats a safety rule as proof that he is right.

Motivation

Winning means bringing his side through the fight together. He wants the line to hold and every kid under his protection to make it to the next patch of ground. He would rather lose while following the Buddy System than win by leaving somebody behind.

How they fight

The Paladin carries a wet pool noodle and a dented garbage-can lid. He moves to the front, faces the danger, and makes a safe lane for other kids. He is best in driveways, gates, and hedge gaps where nobody can easily get around his shield. Spray and splash do less to him than they do to other kids.

He is slow, so quick attackers can circle him or pull him away from the ground he needs to hold. The Towel Snapper can pressure him faster than he can answer. A direct balloon or a close melee hit gets through his water resistance. Once the fight spreads out, his shield protects less and his lack of speed matters more.

Field data

• Age: 12–13.
• Height / build: approximately 1.55 m (5 ft 1 in); large, broad build.
• Weight: approximately 50 kg (110 lb).
• Speed: 2.1 m/s dry in the current game.
• Stamina / soak: the current game calls him in at 100% soak and slows soaked movement toward 0.75 m/s. Stream and splash soak are reduced to 35%; direct balloons and melee bypass that resistance.
• Strengths: frontal defense, water resistance, holding narrow ground.
• Weaknesses: slow movement, flanking, direct balloons and fast melee pressure.

From the studio

This revision uses casting sheet row 1 for age and build, the animator contract for scale, and sim/constants.gd for implemented speed and soak behavior. The sim still names this playable role KNIGHT; the public character name remains Pool Noodle Paladin. Earlier published revisions remain unchanged in the timeline.